A lot of anxiety this weekend. Objectively it's nothing more than usual stuff. I'm the unusual factor. I can't say I didn't get a good start in life. I had a good family and a lot more than many people get. There are things I would certainly do differently for my kids but that's true for everyone. 

The problem is I don't fit in the life I was brought up in and I wasn't prepared for where I ended up. Getting where I want to be, or even to a place I can live with is just wearing me down. Before now I at least had my family. I know they still love me but everyone is split up and just trying to stay above water.

When I feel overwhelmed it helps to think about people who have it worse. At first it helps. But then it's a matter of seeing myself as someone who has difficulty coping with relatively small things. It's a zero sum activity. And yes I know I should just take it one day at a time and focus on the moment at hand.