Anticipation

Tomorrow I weigh in again.....after last week's devastating GAIN despite going to the gym every day.

So I'm sitting here and occasionally my thoughts wander to that.....every so often the random co-worker might cock their head to the side wondering if they just heard an ever so quietly uttered expletive....But overall....I'm actually feeling pretty good.

I have no idea why I'm so hesitant to talk about other things on this little blog right now - especially since at this point only one other person even knows about it....but I just am. I like being in my own head....it's safe in there.....messed up to be sure, but it's my own personal messed up and I'm comfortable in there.

I'm not supposed to feel that way. I'm not supposed to be suspicious and weirded out by the fact that I'm happy lately.....I'm not supposed to say "supposed to" when it comes to feelings because there "is no right or wrong" when it comes to emotions (just actions).........this is the nonsensical back and forth a psychology degree will get you.....that and a job as a receptionist  (unless of course you do all the volunteering/interning in college I totally should have done....sigh.....working on my plan B...more on that later I guess)

Ah, there's that melancholy I'm so comfortable with....Hmmmm....nope, actually still pretty happy right now.