Writing

Part of the reason for this blog is that I want to write. Well, I don't know that I want to write, more to the point, I want to care about something. I need a hobby. I need a hobby not because I'm bored but because  I'm never bored. I feel completely content doing nothing. There is a certain zen advantage to that but it has lead me to a place where I can no longer ignore what an under-achiever I am. I realize that I need more stimulation to remain mentally and physically healthy.

More importantly, I need to be an interesting person. There is a marked lack of relationships in my life, not because I am an uncaring person or I am a bad friend. I am actually an excellent friend but I don't form relationships because that usually involves mutual interest, and frankly, I just don't care about THAT. I know I can't be interesting unless I am interested in something else. I need a little passion in my life and a bit of reading and writing may be a good way to find that.

In some ways writing feels like a good place to explore finding a passion because it is the passion of the most passionate person I know. She is passionate about EVERYTHING and anything. When I say she is passionate about writing it doesn't begin to describe it. She spends hours a day writing. She writes fantasy novels by the dozen and keeps a notebook at her side at all times to write down quotes and ideas for her stories. She has a vague and thinly disguised hostility toward JK Rowling because she feels Harry Potter casts too large a shadow over the genre that she loves. After over 10 years of friendship our most vicious friendship-threatening fights were not over relationships, politics, or religion, but were about my comments on her writing and my general dislike of fantasy novels.

She has never done anything at less than 100000% full effort. She is also unflappably perky and in constant need of some kind of project. She is my polar opposite. We have often wondered how we've been such good friends for so long. I guess we just appreciate the different ways we see things. I suppose it comes down to one fundamental difference in how we approach the world and problems. She is a constructionist and I am a deconstructionist. I like to open things up and see how they work. She likes to start with a clean slate and create something from scratch. I like to dig and she likes to climb.

The trouble with my approach is that I need something already there. I need something to take apart and become fascinated with. I need to remind myself to seek that out, or all my potential will just sit there and rot.  So, I guess that's why I'm doing this. I'm pushing myself to write and seek out something to think about, take apart and find my creativity with. Wish me luck.